Have you heard about this product now available that women can use to dye their vaginas pink? My New Pink Button is a cosmetic labia dye that is targeted at women over the age of 30 and lasts about 48-70 hours. The product comes in four shades: Marilyn, Bettie, Ginger, and Audry. Apparently women are becoming increasingly concerned about their private parts losing their “pinky freshness.”

According to website testimonials:

I was embarrassed about the color change for years and my doctor said there was nothing you could do about it. I was too embarrassed to even discuss it with my friends, and when I finally did I found out I wasn’t alone. We love this product, and it works! Thank you so much.
-Rochelle C. 51 years old

My New Pink Button is pitched as a product which “restores sexual confidence to women everywhere!” But it seems more like another marketing ploy to firstly create an anxiety about body image and then exploit that same anxiety. Strangely, according to the FAQ on the product’s website:

Q. “Help! I’ve noticed I am turning a more brown color down there on my inside lips, is this normal”?

A. Yes, it’s perfectly normal and there are many factors that can contribute to this. Ethnicity is a big factor, also age, hormone change, surgeries, childbirth, sickness, health, diet and medications can all contribute to a change from “Pink” to “Brown” in a woman’s genital area.

Yet another extreme product to alter women’s bodies to appear more like the porn star ideal. Because even though it is “normal” to have genitals of varying colours, “normal” is not “ideal.” So in addition to shaving, waxing, dieting, botoxing, implanting, liposuctioning, tanning, whitening, and all the other changes women are expected to make to conform to this ridiculous ideal, we now have to worry about whether our partners think we’re “pinky” and “youthful” enough down there.

Ummmmmm no thanks.